A sexy tale
by I am SuperWhoLock
Summary: A sexy but slightly inappropiate tale I wrote. Rated PG-13 for strong languaje. So if you are younger than 13 you must ask your parents permission to read this story because it has some strong content.


**A sexy tale**

 **Fandom: Bob Burgers**

* * *

 _This is a story I write about Bob burgers which is a cartoon from Fox which is like The Simpsons but with some differences (They arent yellow) I decided to write a sexy tale inspried by that cartoon, but its only SEXY NOT PORN and there is some sexy stuff but nothing too explict so its PG-13._

* * *

It all started a warm spring morning in the town where Bob Burgers live (I dont remember what the name the town is, the town its like Springfield but its on the beach) that morning was very hot and Jimmy Pesto (fucking smug jerk, I hate him ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ ) was pissed off about that.

"Ah, what a fucking hot day I hate this fucking day!" he said as he woke up. "I better hurry to fuck up Bob Burgers day because he does not deserve to have a better day than me!" (Fucking Jimmy Pesto, i hate this asshole)

Then he rise from bed, and he put his underwear (He was naked because last night he had sex with Trev the bartender. Trev is bit smug but not as much as Jimmy so I dont hate him) and Trev was also naked in the bed, but he was sleeping and dreaming with all the sex and kissing he had with Jimmy last night) but then Jimmy Pesto started btiching about the hotness so he woke up too and was slightly annoyed.

"What are you doing? Its too early in the morning! Come back to bed!" Trev said. (Trev is kinda cool, Jimmy dont deserve him)

"Its too FUCKING HOT, TREV!" Jimmy Pest replied and then he left the room cos he couldnt find his pants.

he went next room(the bathroom) and found his kids in the bathroom. They were brushing his teeth and were getting ready to school.

"Jimmy" (he is talking of Jimmy jr, the son of Jimmy Pesto who is not an asshole like his dad. He is a bit more like Trev) Jimmy pesto asked. "Have you seen my pants."

"No, father." jimmy the kid answered and he keep brushing his teeth.

"Oh, fuck." Jimmy pesto answered and then asked his twin sons: "And you? Have you seen my pants?"

"No dad" said the twins and they left the bathroom holding hands.

then Jimmy Pesto growled and punched the walls of the bathroom while screaming "fuck!" several times. He did not care about his sons hearing the bad words because he is an asshole and aterrible dad. Fuck him.

 **Enough of Jimmy pesto, now lets see what Bob Burgers is doing...**

* * *

 **Meanwhile, at Bob burgers house...**

Bob Burgers was taking breakfast with his family and then they were watching Tv.

In the tv the news anchor said that the congress declared that day a new holiday called the day of making out with random people. Tina liked the idea but Luis did not like the idea because she thought kissing was gross and also it was something she couldnt do with Gene because then both would be commiting INCEST and they did not want that. So she had to kiss someone else and that annoyed her.

"Oh, i hope Jimmy (Jimmy the kid, not Jimmy Pesto the adult asshole because he is an asshole and also an adult and Tina is only 13 and if they made out it will be sick and gross like those fanfics that pair Trunks with Pan and Draco with Hermione. Gross) makes out with me! That would be so rad and kawaii!" Tina said but Luis told her to fuck off. Then she apologized becuase she has a good heart deep inside.

* * *

 **In the school...**

all the kids were making out with each other and Tina said: "Oh dear, i hope I am able to make out with Jimmy the kid before someone else does!" and she ran across the school trying to find Jimmy the kid and he found him in the cafeteria...But he was making out with Zeke and Tammy was making out with Jocelyn. And Tina screamed: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! No!" and ran away crying.

Luis and Gene ran behind her, but she hid herself in the girls bathroom.

* * *

 **15 minutes later...**

Tina came out of the bathroom but she was still depressed because Jimmy the kid (Not Jimmy the asshole) kissed someone else and not her and she went to classes feeling very sad. Then she was angry with Jimmy the kid and Zeke for making out with each other and she feel so sad and she told herself she would never be able to love again and then Zeke asked her: "Hey whats up girl, you look sad" and Tina told him to fuck off because she felt hurt inside and Zeke was: "What the fuck was that?"

* * *

 **Meanwhile in the other class...**

Luis was making a plan to escape from school since she hated all the making out because she thought the making out was gross and deeply inappropiate. Also she didnt make homework so she told her teacher she had a deady virus and she had to come back home to spent her last hours of life with her family but the teacher did not believe her and gave her an F for not making her homework.

Luis was pissed off. And then...

* * *

 **Some hours later...**

During recess Zeke and Jimmy went to the table where Tina was sitting along with Gene and Luis.

"UGH, what the fuck do you want, stupid motherfuckers?" Tina asked, feeling very angry.

"Tina, what happened?" Zeke asked. "You seem very upset today!"

"Im not upset! FUCK OFF!"

"Okay, we will leave" Zeke said and he and Jimmy the kid started making out and Tina felt very sad and ran away crying.

"What the fuck is her problem?" Jocelyn asked and then Gene and Luis thought the making out day made their lived a little bit more miserable.

But Luis had a plan she made a couple of hours later.

* * *

 **A few hours before...**

 _*spoilers alet*_

Luis was going to call her teacher a heartless asshole for giving her a filthy F, but then she noticed her teacher had a small photo (very small, like the photos used in library cards) hidden behind a book...It was the photo of Mr. Frond and it was decorated with little pink hearts and it also had lipstick marks all over it! Holy fucking shit!

"Holy fucking shit," Luis realized "My teacher likes Mr. Frond!"

Then she notices her teacher was all depressed like Tina, and she thought she probably was sad and angry because she did not make out with her during that day and she decided to made a plan to convince Mr. Frond to make out with her teacher so the teacher would give an A or an A- instead of an F.

* * *

 **A few hours later...**

During recess, Luis was finishing her plan while Gene was making out with Peter Pescadero (Great character. He is awesome.) Luis wanted to kiss Peter Pescadero too, but Gene did not allow her do that, so Luis had to focus on her plan to convince Mr. Frond of making out with her teacher...

* * *

 **10 minutes later...**

Zeke and Jimmy the kid stopped making out in the hall after they heard someone crying in a distant room. The crying came from the Janitor's Storeroom. The door was slighty open and Jimmy the kid opened it and found Tina there. She looked very sad and angry at the same time.

"Dear heavens" Jimmy the kid said. "Tina what happened? Why you are so sad?"

Tina did not answer and continue crying but then Zeke and Jimmy the kid sit next to her and comforted her so she decided to open up and told them that she wanted to make out with Jimmy the kid, but then she saw him making out with zeke and she thought Jimmy the kid loved Zeke and not her but then Zeke said:

"Tina, Jimma and I are best friends and best friends sometimes like to make out with each other, but that doesnt mean we don´t like to make out with other people too!"

"really?" Tina asked.

"Yeh." Jimmy said, and Tina felt much better and then Tina apologized both boys for telling them to fuck off so many times and they said "no problem" and then both make out with Tina in the hall and she felt very happy and feel thankful for having Zeke and Jimmy the kid.

( _This is the end of her story arc. For now at least._ )

* * *

 **Meanwhile, in another place of the school...**

Luis found her teacher crying in the girls bathroom.

She was ready to escape from school because she feel very sad and depressed but then luis entered the bathroom and asked : "Wait! What the fuck are you going?!"

and the teacher was forced to confess her true feelings about how much he liked Mr Frond but he never noticed him because he was kinda an asshole (Not so much as Jimmy Pesto, but still) and he only cared about her stuffed toys.

"This is your lucky day, mrs teacher." Luis said. "Ive got good news for you, I can convince Mr. Frond to make out with you but only if you gave an A instead of an F!"

"I can give you a C." the teacher said.

"Ok" Luis said. "Change the grades and then I will make Mr. Frond kiss you."

"Ok." Mrs. teacher said and changed the grades.

Luis then said: "Give me 10 minutes."

* * *

 **10 minutes later...**

Luis knocked the door of the bathroom and said: "Hey, mrs teacher! MR FROND IS HERE! Came out of the bathroom so he can make out with you!"

At first, Mrs. Teacher did not believe that but then she opened the girls bathroom door and Mr. Frond was there and they both started making out in front of Luis who was grossed out and vomited but did nto care much about that anyway because she at least got a C, so everything was kinda ok.

* * *

 **10 minutes before...**

 _This is what happened:_

Mr. Frond was alone in his office he was sad and crying because nobody wanted to make out with him because he was Mr. Frond. so he only could make out with her plush toys.

"I hate my fucking life! Nobody wants to make out with me, except my fucking plush toys!" and he started making out with her plush toys.

Then Luis appeared with a cell phone with camera she stole from Tammy Larsen bag while she was distracted making out with Jocelyn and said: "HAH HAH! FUCKING PLUSHFUCKER! Now you will have to do what I say or I will post this photo of you making out with your plush toys on Tumblr and reddit and then the whole internet will know there is a plushfucker in this schooland they will fire you! "

"No, Luis, dont do that!" Mr. Frond said.

"Ok" Luis said. "I wont tell anybody you were making out with your plush toys, but only if you make out with my teacher. "

"Ok." said Mr. Frond. He was kinda pissed off with Luis for blackmailing him but the idea of making out with a real person instead of a plush toy made him happy so he forgot about the blackmail thing.

But how did Luis knew about Mr. Frond dirty secret?

* * *

 **A few months ago...**

After watching a kickstarter video, Luis decided to open a fake wesbite to scam people. In her website, Luis assumed the identity of an adult psyschologist called Eldon chance and made people to confess their embarrasing secrets and sins, but she ended closing the website because most of the people that visited the website only had stupid secrets and she could not use them to blackmail them.

But before she deleted the website, she discovered a message written on her guestbook by Mr. Frond who wrote a very long wall of text about his solitude and sadness and how nobody ever wanted to make out with him, so he had to make out with his plush toys instead and that made him miserable. Luis decided to keep the information on her computer so she could use it to blackmail Mr. Frond someday in the future.

* * *

 **Back to present...**

Luis got a C+ and returned the cell phone to the bag of Tammy Larsen before she noticed it was stolen, but before deleting the photo from the archives she mailed it to Gene aso she could use the photo again the future, but Gene was grossed out by the photo so he decided to delete it, but Luis still had the info of her old website so she could still sue it for future blackmails. And she did.

( _End._ )

* * *

 **Meanwhile, back at Jimmy Pesto (Jimmy the asshole, not Jimmy the kid)...**

Jimmy Pesto finally found his pants, but the day was too hot and he was tired so he decided to ruin Bob Burgers day in another occasion so he only gave the middle finger instead, but Bob Burger didnt notice because he was busy making hamburgers. Jimmy the asshole also told him to fuck off, but Bob wasnt able to hear because the streets were filled with the noise of people making out.

* * *

 **5 hours later...**

Trev and Jimmy Pesto were at their house and Trev asked: "Did you ruin the day of Bob Burgers?"

"No because it was too fucking hot and I feel unmotivated." Jimmy the asshole admitted.

"I told you it was a waste of time trying to ruin Bobs burger day!" Trev said. "I told you dawg!"

"Shut the fuck up, Trev!" Jimmy pesto said. "Now get naked and make out with me!"

Then Trev and Jimmy the asshole got naked and started making out in the couch and Jimmy the asshole gave his kids some money so they copuld go to the cinema to watch the tom cruise mummy movie while he and trev had sex.

 **The end. ( _for now_ )**

* * *

 **In the cinema...**

Jimmy the kid and the twins were watching the mummy movie with tom cruise but they got bored and they ended watchign Captain Underpants instead.

That night the three of them promised to stay true to each other until the end of their lives. And they did.


End file.
